What is Mediation?

Behind almost every human conflict someone feels dismissed, discounted, disenfranchised, or disrespected. There are five basic strategies that we humans use in response to conflict and the emotions it triggers. The strategies are to avoid, accommodate, combat, compromise, or collaborate. Only compromising and collaborating provide both a benefit to the relationship and a focus on attaining an individual goal. However, when we are emotionally triggered it is often difficult to compromise or collaborate and instead we go into fight, flight or freeze mode and we avoid, accommodate, or combat. One of the mediator's jobs is to take parties in conflict away from avoid, accommodate, or combat and bring them to compromise and/or collaborate. The process is often not pretty. In fact, it can be downright ugly. However, an effective mediator will know how to lead the parties through the muck by setting the stage, gathering information, defining the issues, developing an agenda, facilitating the discussion, and generating movement using a variety of investigative and persuasive techniques that are geared towards opening the parties minds and hearts and removing their blinders.

As you know I am on a mission to change the way we look at conflict and divorce. Here is my most recent contribution to the cause - http://www.lawcrossing.com/article/index.php?id=4755