Scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley could both benefit from an honest look at the behaviors that each of them contributed to their recent arrest fiasco and the subsequent media circus.
In my mind, racism and its related open wound, are key factors in the whole matter. But, other factors, and some big fat male egos, come into play too.
Would the woman who called-in the initial 911 report have called the police if the men she saw breaking-into Gates house were white? Honestly, we will never know how much of the motivation behind the woman's call came from racial profiling and how much was from her concern as a neighbor.
Likewise, we don't have a video tape of the arrest scene. So we will never really know how things played out when Crowley showed up. However, my 20 years as a mediator has taught me that in almost every human conflict, it takes two to tango. So I believe that both men contributed to the escalation of the conflict. And, while race is one of the factors that influenced both men before, during and after the arrest incident, power and ego also came into play.
Gates is calling for an apology. And, at this point, in the court of public opinion, Crowley would be wise to offer one. Here is what he could say and still save face:
"Needless to say, this incident was most unfortunate and I am sorry that it has caused Dr. Gates suffering and stress. I was called to the house for a reported break-in and sadly things escalated before it became clear that this was Dr. Gates' home. I hope that Dr Gates knows that it was my intention to protect this home, as I would want to protect any home in Cambridge. I can understand how upsetting it must have been for Dr Gates to have the police show up on his doorstep, especially since he was already dealing with the frustration of being locked out. Under different circumstances I believe that Dr Gates would have conveyed the facts to me and we would not be here now. Once again, I am sorry for the suffering and stress that Dr. Gates has endured in relation to this incident."
Likewise, Dr Gates can take this mishap and turn it into an opportunity for opening up a worthwhile and meaningful dialogue on race and racial relations. Hopefully, he will choose this path and avoid putting himself into the whinney victim stance that we often see in reaction to feelings of dismissed, discounted, disrespected, or disenfranchised.
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Dear Dr. Robin,
ReplyDeleteYou make some very good points. It is unfortunate that, at last check, no one from the Harvard Program on Negotiation has seen fit to offer their services to mediate this dispute in a way that allows both of these gentlemen to ... well...act like the gentlemen I'm sure they are and minimize the grandstanding before the media circus.
And a question, perhaps I am misreading it -- text is such a terrible medium for meaningful communication -- but might there be a measure of sexism and gender stereotyping in the phrase "big fat male egos"? ;-)
Warmly,
Patricia
Great point about the Harvard Negotiation Project. Just another missed opportunity. And, LOL, as to gender stereotyping, as you know there are documented differences in male and female brain chemistry. If we could view these differences on a bell curve, in this case, I think it might explain a lot. Sadly, I dont have a better word for it - and I dont want to minimize the racial factor - but - I was trying to be polite with male egos, what this really is, is a "dick war."
ReplyDeleteHi Dr. Robin,
ReplyDeleteAnother question then re: "dick war" -- is frame of the conflict real and constructive enough that you'd categorize it that way to these gentlemen face-to-face?
Maybe I'm missing something but, surging testosterone aside (we women have our own estrogenic issues, after all), I'm having a hard time understanding how this frame is useful or even necessary to the examination (and possible repair) of what has been broken.
My thought is that there are more powerful conflict elements at work here than gender, thinking in particular that class, race, and most especially a bad case of Fundamental Attribution Error are all in the mix and exacerbating what was, essentially, a simple misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion.
Most respectfully yours,
Patricia
Patricia,
ReplyDeletePlease call me Elinor.
Thank you for reading my blog. I have often wondered if anyone reads what I write here. I am delighted that not only did you read it, but obviously gave it thought.
If I found myself facilitating a dialogue with these two gentlemen (a mediator's dream case) I would use any and every persusive technique I could muster. So, if there was an appropriate opening I would identify the "dick war" in the context of a shared trait - a commonality - that I would define as dynamic - a combination of personal pride and power. While this dynamic trait has served both of these men well (in the past), this time dynamic became an example of one's greatest strength also being one's greatest weakness.
Meanwhile, as long as Dr Gates is able to present himself as a pure victim the issues will not resolve. Real resolution would require both of these men to take some level of responsibility for the incident.
Yes, I totally agree that class and racial biases along with a bad case of fundamental attribution error exacerbated a simple misunderstanding. And, I would also want to bring these ideas to the face-to-face discussion.
All the best,
Elinor