Summer As A Single

Summer may be a difficult time for those that are newly divorced. Summer vacations, the beach, and picnics can be fun; but they can also trigger insecurities and feelings of loss, loneliness, and failure. Here are some tips to help get you through the summer season.

5 Things To Do

1. Plan ahead. Dont wait until the last minute to make summer plans. However, be flexible and know that the plan may change.

2. Tap into your support network. Dont depend on just one person. Make sure you include many others - friends and/or family members - in your plan.

3. Keep it simple. Avoid biting off more then you can chew. Keep your financial and time restrictions in mind and set up a plan that you can afford.

4. Create new rituals. Divorce is the perfect time to assess and re-create your life as you want it to be. This time of assessment also allows you to design rituals that you will want to follow for years to come. Ask yourself - what do I REALLY want to do over this summer? Is there a signature event that you can host and call your own for years to come (Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, or just a Girl's Weekend Getaway)? Now, set it up and do it.

5. Volunteer to help the needy. Giving back to the community feels good but it is also a great way to meet new people.

5 Things NOT To Do

1. Dont isolate. A little alone time is OK but make sure that you will be around others in your support network.

2. Dont waste time arguing over the details. If your Ex is stuck on having the kids for certain days, go with the flow. Many of my clients find that they get more when they give in. So be flexible and open to unseen possibilities.

3. Dont focus on the past or hold on to old patterns and rituals. Change is the only guaranty we have in life. Avoid dwelling on the things you miss as well as the vacation disasters that were part of you former life. Instead look to the future and march on.

4. Dont go anywhere you really dont want to go. Avoid critical or nosey relatives and anyone else who will open up old wounds.

5. Dont jump into a new relationship just because you dont want to be "alone." Instead, enjoy this summer season as a single.