Greetings!
Unprecedented. That's the word. We are living in unprecedented times; the pandemic, rioting in the streets, and the mad man in the WH have us living on edge and in a never-ending news-cycle.
Something drew me back to this blog. It's been almost 18 months since I have posted anything here. So much has changed during the past 18 months - globally as well as in my little world.
I have been back and forth to Israel to visit my grandchildren five times in the last few years. But, right now I fear I may never get on a plane again.
Susan passed away in March 2019 leaving a void in my life - personally and professionally. (If you don't remember who Susan is take a look at my first blog post from Nov 16, 2007.)
Last year I started another mediation training company - Mediation Training Network (MTN) - I wanted to fill the gap Susan's passing left in Florida's mediation community. It is very difficult in Florida to meet the requirements for becoming a Primary Mediation Trainer. My focus with MTN began with gathering a team of eight experienced mediators who were prepared to jump through the necessary hoops. Ultimately, they will be Primary Trainers and I will feel that I've left a legacy. In the meantime, we've moved from a live-format to Zoom and we're training professionals who will be the next generation of mediation super-stars.
David and I have been in Gainesville (full-time) for almost four years. There is no doubt that this is where we belong. Last year, after some extensive renovations, we moved into our (hopefully) forever home. It's our intention to stay here until we are really decrepit and ready for the next phase.
As I read through past blog posts I came across the following post from May 8, 2009. The message is as important today as when I wrote it eleven years ago.
As I read through past blog posts I came across the following post from May 8, 2009. The message is as important today as when I wrote it eleven years ago.
FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2009
Moving Through The Crisis
At a recent meeting of The Mental Health Professionals of Boca Raton, a group of local therapists brainstormed ideas on how we can best guide our clients through the current crisis. There was a lot of wisdom at that meeting and this is what we came up with.
We are currently living through financial, real estate, and health crises. The stock market and banks are in upheaval, the real estate market is a disaster, unemployment is at an all time high, and in addition to the health care mess we are facing a possible pandemic. This is enough to push almost anyone over the edge.
Ann Toback Bair, LCSW, calls our current situation a “crisis of trust.” Sadly, there have been serious breaches of trust and many of us have lost faith in our leaders, our institutions, each other and, for some, our selves.
The financial crisis has triggered a lot of shame. Those who have lost their homes, their jobs, and their available credit often feel driven to point the finger of blame at their spouses, family members, and friends. Loss brings back childhood insecurities, leaving us with a diminished capacity and a tendency to act out negatively.
However, there are things you can do to avoid falling victim to the negativity. Strategies for getting though the current crisis fall into two categories - action strategies and attitude strategies.
Action Strategies
1. Create a concrete plan of action. List your personal resources and then conceptualize the strategies that you will utilize during the next month, 6 months and year ahead.
2. Become an activist. Get involved with something that is going to make a difference.
3. Commune. Connect with your neighbors and members of your community. Avoid isolation. Start or join a support group or a meet-up. Have a Bar-b-q – serve hot dogs, not steak. Make time for sharing breakfast. It’s critical to remember that you are not alone.
4. Meditate and breathe. When we are anxious we tend to hold our breath. Using a breathing meditation allows us to take in more oxygen. And, more oxygen allows us to think more clearly.
5. Stay busy. Find free activities. Take a walk. Visit the park or the beach.
6. Find more creative ways for finding the goods and services you need. Barter. Recycle. Negotiate. Create.
Attitude Strategies
1. Start the morning with a positive affirmation.
2. Focus on the ways that the glass of your life is half (or more) full.
3. Avoid comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. For example, you know your 401K is in the toilet. Don’t assume that the same is not true for your neighbor or brother-in-law. When you think of yourself as the only victim you further feed the negative emotions.
4. See crisis as an opportunity to shift gears.
5. Accept those around you as they are. Focus instead on what can be changed in your and your attitudes.
6. Don’t dwell on your losses, mourn them and let them go.
A special thank you to the meeting participants: Ann Toback Bair, LCSW. Barbara Jacob, LMHC,. Mark Levinsky, LMHC. Susan Ames, CLU, ChFC. Erica Goodstone, PhD, LMHC. Lisheyna Hurvitz, LMHC. Lillian Alper, LCSW. Susan Lander, MSW. Irv Nadler, PhD. Robin Goldstein, EdD. Beth Cutler, LMHC, CAP. and Julie Shuman, PsyD.
We are currently living through financial, real estate, and health crises. The stock market and banks are in upheaval, the real estate market is a disaster, unemployment is at an all time high, and in addition to the health care mess we are facing a possible pandemic. This is enough to push almost anyone over the edge.
Ann Toback Bair, LCSW, calls our current situation a “crisis of trust.” Sadly, there have been serious breaches of trust and many of us have lost faith in our leaders, our institutions, each other and, for some, our selves.
The financial crisis has triggered a lot of shame. Those who have lost their homes, their jobs, and their available credit often feel driven to point the finger of blame at their spouses, family members, and friends. Loss brings back childhood insecurities, leaving us with a diminished capacity and a tendency to act out negatively.
However, there are things you can do to avoid falling victim to the negativity. Strategies for getting though the current crisis fall into two categories - action strategies and attitude strategies.
Action Strategies
1. Create a concrete plan of action. List your personal resources and then conceptualize the strategies that you will utilize during the next month, 6 months and year ahead.
2. Become an activist. Get involved with something that is going to make a difference.
3. Commune. Connect with your neighbors and members of your community. Avoid isolation. Start or join a support group or a meet-up. Have a Bar-b-q – serve hot dogs, not steak. Make time for sharing breakfast. It’s critical to remember that you are not alone.
4. Meditate and breathe. When we are anxious we tend to hold our breath. Using a breathing meditation allows us to take in more oxygen. And, more oxygen allows us to think more clearly.
5. Stay busy. Find free activities. Take a walk. Visit the park or the beach.
6. Find more creative ways for finding the goods and services you need. Barter. Recycle. Negotiate. Create.
Attitude Strategies
1. Start the morning with a positive affirmation.
2. Focus on the ways that the glass of your life is half (or more) full.
3. Avoid comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. For example, you know your 401K is in the toilet. Don’t assume that the same is not true for your neighbor or brother-in-law. When you think of yourself as the only victim you further feed the negative emotions.
4. See crisis as an opportunity to shift gears.
5. Accept those around you as they are. Focus instead on what can be changed in your and your attitudes.
6. Don’t dwell on your losses, mourn them and let them go.
A special thank you to the meeting participants: Ann Toback Bair, LCSW. Barbara Jacob, LMHC,. Mark Levinsky, LMHC. Susan Ames, CLU, ChFC. Erica Goodstone, PhD, LMHC. Lisheyna Hurvitz, LMHC. Lillian Alper, LCSW. Susan Lander, MSW. Irv Nadler, PhD. Robin Goldstein, EdD. Beth Cutler, LMHC, CAP. and Julie Shuman, PsyD.
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