Notes on De-Cluttering: Cut The Crap

Think of a time when you had no crap.   Has there ever been such a time?

Can we all agree that crap is not a good thing?  

But, wait!!  There might be some good stuff buried in the crap.  Clearly, for me, the task is to sift through the crap and pull out the good stuff.  So why haven't I done it?

You have no idea how much crap you have until you have to pack it into one truck.

On the other hand, do I really have to deal with this crap?  I could just wait until I die.  But, then (a) someone else will have to clean up my crap and (b) I never get a chance to enjoy a crap-free life.  

You can give your crap to someone who wants it.  (These people may be hard to find.  Seeking them out will add on a lot of time to the cut-the-crap process.)  

You can donate your crap to a charity.  (If they want it.)

You can sell it.  This can be time consuming - a full-time job for minimal pay.  Certain high dollar items are worth selling on ebay, etsy, craigslist, etc.  (Oh well, I have no high dollar items.)  At best my crap might work in a garage sale.  (Also known as "a lot of work for a little money.")

You can store your stuff.  Ouch.  Those monthly storage costs can add up.  And, it takes time to pack it up.  And, once its in storage - then what?  

Hire help.  Better yet, trade de-cluttering help with a friend.  Your helper will see your crap in a more realistic light.  

If you hold onto something for later use you may be cheating yourself out of getting the latest and greatest.  Look around stores.  Do you want to be able to get a nice new one or use your crummy old one?  (Especially true of bedding, kitchen stuff, etc.)

Tell me about something you love?  If it was lost you would run out and buy another one.   

 

COVID Divorce - 5 Reasons Why the Pandemic is a Marriage Killer

Ouch.  As if living through a pandemic were not enough, many of you will also be hit with a divorce this year.  In fact the current situation might be considered a divorce stimulant.  Here's why:

• The virus and the lock-down have forced many people to face themselves and their relationships without the normal day-to-day distractions.  For many, this dose of reality shed light into some dark nooks and crannies.  And, now its difficult to go back to make-believe.  Instead its time to clean up, once and for all.   
• Many of us, who knew divorce was inevitable, were just too busy to do anything about it.  Now, suddenly, we have the time to deal with the paperwork and the logistics.  Some people are spending the lock-down cleaning out closets and learning a foreign language.  Others are finally getting on with their divorce.     
• For many, the pandemic amplified the inequality of a couple's contributions.  If you were already operating with an imbalance, the current situation may be enough to push the more contributory - and resentful - spouse over the edge.  
• When one spouse fears for his/her health (or the health of the children) and the other spouse comes across as cavalier, the frightened spouse feels devalued and betrayed.  The key to a successful marriage is providing each partner with a sense of safety and the impression that s/he is appreciated and valued.  When the relationship no longer provides this, things start to crumble.  This dynamic is epitomized by spouses who act-out their differences regarding COVID safety.     
• Sudden or significant losses or lifestyle-changes can become marriage-killers.  For example - the death of a child, on-going care for a special-needs child, a major work shift, and unemployment all increase the likelihood of divorce.  For many, the pandemic has triggered a sense of loss, actual losses, and significant life-style changes.  

Can you think of another reason who this pandemic is a marriage killer?  I am very interested in your feedback.           

My Notes on Retirement Coaching

This week I attended a conference put on by the Retirement Coaches Association.  https://retirementcoachesassociation.org/  They did a great job on with the virtual networking and the technology.  And, there were some fantastic (and not so fantastic) speakers.  Often when I go to conferences I hear nothing new.  But, this was an exception.  

Here are my notes:

In the past, people didn't age.  They died.  Today we live longer than ever before and many of us can expect long "retirements."  What should those retirements look like?  

Typically, there is no rite of passage into the Third Age.  (ThirdAger)

For many, a flex retirement - that allows one to glide in and out of a workspace is an attractive idea.

Retirees have time affluence.

What do you want in the way of peak experiences?  (Previously called a bucket list.)

Think about your two resumes - a career resume and a human being resume.

During the Second Age we accumulate, during the Third Age we release.

In adolescence we go from child to adult.  In middlescence we move from adult to elder.  

The Modern Elder is as curious as s/he is wise.  

Many old people.  Few Elders.  An Elder is someone who knows s/he is going to die. 

The denial of death and the worship of youth. 

Ken Dychtwald - https://agewave.com/

Seven interconnected life priorities:  health, home, leisure, family, work, finances, purpose/contribution.

Seth Godin - Toward a Zoom Agreement.  https://seths.blog/2020/08/toward-a-zoom-agreement/

Organizations:  

• https://retirementcoachesassociation.org/
• https://certifiedretirementcoach.org/