Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Pre-marital Question

Dear Dr Elinor,

I am about to get married.  Do you think premarital counseling is worth the effort?  

Brenda

Yes!!!  I am a believer.  Pre-marital counseling and pre-marital education can provide a benefit to every couple as well as to society as a whole.

As I see it, before the state issues a marriage license, the parties involved should have to prepare and sign a detailed contract.  If you cannot sit down with your beloved and hold a conversation (while you are in the window of hormone induced connection) about (a) where you are, (b) where you want to go, and (c) how you plan on getting there, you will probably not be able to hold one of marriage's difficult conversations once the hormone rush is gone and the dulldrum of daily life has set in.

Of course these conversations should not end once the wedding is over.  Every marriage could benefit from some kind of on-going counseling (or education), like the continuing education requirements for professionals. 

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