I was not dog crazy until I met my Stella

Six years ago, as David and I were on our way to stock-up at Costco, I felt a pull. Something was directing me to pass the store and keep going. “Let’s go to the humane society, I’ve got a funny feeling” I said. “OK” David responded, humoring me. We already had two elderly cats and they provided some real barriers to bringing any other animals home. Clearly he assumed we would be lookers, not takers.

At the shelter, we walked up and down the rows of cages, visiting with the inmates sitting in their sad death row cells. One of the wardens approached us. I told her about our cats. She was quiet for a few seconds and then she ushered us past the rows of cages and into the cat room. There, clearly out of place, amongst all the caged kittens, was a spunky black and white puppy in a big cage. The attendant opened the cage. The puppy dashed out, much more interested in her new freedom than in us. She ran around in circles – clearly delighted to have sprung the coop. I took her “cat room” confines as an omen. “We’ll take her" I said. David stood there, too shocked to speak.

A few days later, when the paperwork was complete, we left the shelter with our Stella. The attendant beamed and my eyes welled up with tears as she looked at us and said “see, sometimes life starts out tough and then it all works out really well.” I knew Stella was one lucky puppy and we would give her a good life.

During the last six years, both David and I have both built strong bonds with Stella who is a master communicator. Her boarder collie genes prepared her to communicate with the sheep herder and primed her to use emotion, hers and ours, instead of words. She is able to read us and to get her message across with amazing accuracy. Stella often acts as my sounding board, listening as I work things out. And, she teaches us about life and ourselves by mirroring those hidden traits we are not comfortable exposing.

Here are the three things Stella wants you to know.

1. Shelter dogs are the best dogs. Do not buy a dog from a pet store as most of them were bred in puppy mills. If you must, find a reputable breeder but that should be your second choice – for a variety of reasons.

2. Communities that don’t allow animal companions are missing out. A loyal dog or cat can change an elderly person’s outlook on life. And, by opening up to pets you expand the pool of potential buyers for property resale and so increase property values. Do not live in a community that doesn’t allow pets, something is wrong with people who don’t want animals around.

3. Life is full of delicious surprises. So get out there, smell around, and find them. And, then share the news – there is always something to bark about.

Five years ago we expanded our family and adopted another dog, so Stella would have a playmate. Our beloved Roscoe is not as brilliant a communicator as Stella but he is gentle and loving and a valued addition to our family.

Change, Hope and Doom

We had a big night last night. Hope is again on the horizon. And, while I am not convinced that it is still possible to stop the downward spiral, if it is, clearly Barack Obama is our best choice and our best hope.

My questions for this week:

1. There is a universal law that says that what is perceived as the worst almost always has the potential to become the best. Our current economic crisis is going to give each of us a chance to really assess what is important and what is just distracting fluff. Along these lines, this year the holiday season will be very different. Do you have any ideas on how we can turn our challenges into blessings and survive the holidays this year?

2. What do you know about internet radio? Susan and I are considering moving our show from WNN, which is a local AM station, to this format.

3. I feel an amazing connection to my dogs Stella and Roscoe. And, it seems I run into people all the time that share this passion for their pets. Do you have a dog? Do you have an explanation for the intense connection we share with these creatures?

4. What has changed? What is the change we need? What shifts are happening for you?

I have been asked to answer last weeks questions.

1. Yes, it appears to me that it harder for a single person to find a life partner today than in the past. You would think that the internet would be making the process easier. However, we live in complex times and mate selection is complicated by confusing messages about gender roles and individual fulfillment. The cultural factors and the dynamics that play out in the process of mate selection continue to fascinate me. As a divorce mediator I find that some of the couples who end up at my table were mismatched from the beginning. So I believe that arranged marriage and/or old style matchmaking are very viable options in the 21st century.

2. If it helps, I am all for it. I am not sure if spirit attachment and/or soul fragmentation are what keeps us stuck. However, I do believe that a spiritual remedy can be the path away from our addictions and towards emotional health. The spiritual remedy involves becoming comfortable with surrender, acceptance, conscious contact with a higher/deeper power, and trusting the process of life as it unfolds. I believe that finding that comfort level is a process that involves finding the right discipline and staying committed to its practice. If there is a one size fits all spiritual answer I have not found it. But, I do know that any spiritual practice can take us to The Answer and can also take us away from The Answer.

3. I am in the process of writing an article, for a legal education website, about how pro-se/pre-suit divorce mediation is an emerging trend. Certainly, I am on a mission to carry that message. I will keep you posted.

4. We are heading into even tougher times. Peak-oil, environmental and climate crisis, war, and financial ruin in the stock market, the real estate market, and the banks. Peter Schiff says that the buy-outs have only postponed the inevetable. The jury is still out on where the US is going and if we can remain a viable world force. And, beyond our backyard Thomas Friedman reminds us that the world is flat, crowded, and hot. So, someone better come up with a plan. (Actually, Friedman proposes one.) Obama has his work cut out for him.

5. David and I are making progress on our move to Gainesville. A landscaper has made our house more attractive for sale and we are purging alot fo the clutter. We are going to Gainesville for another one of our exploratory missions later this week.

All the best, Elinor